Are we ready?....better yet are YOU ready?

As I sit here on lunch today reading Ann Voskamp's blog "To the Nations and to the people of the cross, all about the 21 "Christian" men who lost their lives to ISIS this week because of their illusions of the cross, I had a strange thought roll around my head.  While as heart wrenching as this act of terror is, my mind seems to keep going back to the thought of what they are doing to young the girls.  The rape and selling into sex trade.  I guess maybe because I have a teenage daughter of my own this issue hits a little more close to home for me.  As a mom I want to protect her.  But ultimately I know only the Love of the Cross can.  I fail in comparison in what the power of God can do. 

I was thinking back to my younger days, a mere 20 something working 3rd shift, to a conversation that seems to keep coming back to me.  I have often thought about the conversation but it became more often during the chaos of Ferguson Missouri.  The gentleman I had the conversation with was trying to justify that it was ok to take what was not rightfully yours.  I didn't understand this or his argument at this frustrated him to the point of saying to me "you won't ever understand because you didn't grow up on the other side of the tracks."  I will admit yes I am middle class white America.  In my naiveté I didn't really argue.  But as the years have passed and I have thought about that statement I have to come to know this much.  While I never went to bed hungry and I had few nicer things in life and if finances were tight us kids didn't know about.  (Boy how I wish I could say that about my own household and daughter, working on that).  The argument I should have made was this.  We didn't live in want because I had a Dad that went to work bare minimum of 10 hours a day in all kinds of weather schlepping boxes.  He came exhausted.  My Momma worked in a factory for a number of years making vacuums, she babysat and then later started cleaning other people's houses.  My parents worked hard to provide a living for us.  While I know "the other side of the tracks" seems to go without a Father in a lot of homes that still to me doesn't "earn" you the right to take what isn't yours.  Whether it is food from a store, merchandise or someone else's innocence. 

This really bothers me.  I know that there isn't the same opportunity.  But what is the saying "make opportunity."  I remember watching the destruction in New Orleans during the hurricane thinking why on earth would a person go into a store and drag out a television and five or six pair of shoes in that mess and why on earth would you think it is ok to do that? 

I have seen with my own eyes people take stuff.  Whether it was the young man in the check out line that tried to quietly take a stick of gum out of the package then casually put the wrapper back and tuck it all back together so it looked like the piece wasn't missing.  To the young lady in the Kohls who came out of the dressing room with a whole outfit on under her clothing.  Why....do you really need that piece of gum so badly you can't spend the $1 to buy it?  Do you really need that new outfit that badly that you steal it?  Maybe it is the thrill to see if you can get away with it?  Would the people you are trying to impress with clothes really care for you as an individual if they new you stole them? 

What about the innocence?  What about when some 50 year old man rapes a 12 year old girl just because he needs release.  This one I just don't get.  This too is stealing.  You are taking something that is not yours.  Even the man that won't just take no for an answer and keeps pushing until you finally shut and give in just because you don't want to fight about it anymore.  I have been there and truthfully it isn't a whole lot different.  It is taking something that isn't being offered.  Even if you pay for it you are still stealing.  You are stealing the dignity of the girl you just paid for for a mere moment of enjoyment.  The more subtle one.  The young girls and women that offer it up just get love.  This can fall into that category as well.  Ladies if you have to give it to get what you want let me tell you, you will end up empty handed and hurt.  Rob Bell got it right when he said "this is always about that."  We are driven by a sexual appetite.  So skewed and so distorted.  The heart longs for oneness and the only time we feel oneness is during that act.  But how sickening to have force someone, pay for someone or do it just because it is what you want. 

This world as we know it seems to be unraveling at the seams.  I know this is hitting some of us in America hard.  But I often wonder in another week if we will just shut the news off because we are tired of hearing about it.  Kind of like Ebola and the Measles that have fallen off the radar but a month or two ago we thought the whole earth would succumb to them.  We in America are so fickle we just want the next thing even when it comes to our news. 

I sure wish those of us in America that claim to be the Nation of the Cross would finally arise.  We sure like to sit back and complain "oh they have taken God out of our schools" STAND UP and do something about it.  Last time I checked though my daughter who wherever she steps is Holy and she walks the school halls everyday....God is there with her.  There will come a day when none of us are allowed Bibles but are we taking time to hide the Word in our heart?  No but we can tell you how many homeruns Babe Ruth hit to Right Field. 

Earlier last week I had one of those moments of getting smacked with a 2x4 between my eyes.  1 Samuel 6 talks about when the Ark was being sent back to Israel.  At one point of the journey 70 men were struck down for looking upon the Ark.  I read what my study Bible had to say about it because I found it odd that everyone wasn't struck down and it said that "looked upon" meant they peered into or they looked at the Ark with irreverence. WOW....did the conviction of the Lord smack me.  How often do I look upon the Lord with that same irreverence?  Oh how I forget that He is a Holy God, a Just God.  One that should be approached with trembling.  Yet I run into his court like I, I own the place.  Maybe I am alone in this.....but I to take from the temple.  I eat the show bread like it is placed out there for me to snack on.  When I realize that God should strike me down it makes me all the more grateful that He sees me through the blood, the perfect sacrifice of the Savior.   It reminds me that I don't have to "take" from God but that God wants to give me good gifts, abundant gifts.

So I ask you are we ready?  Are we ready to take on the task at hand.  Are we ready to help win the war that is being waged between good and evil.  Oh I how I hope you fight for the good.  Because here is a little tip.  I already know that good will triumph.  And don't we all want to be on the winning team?

Here's To You Buddy.......

On 22 Dec 1972, during the "Christmas bombing" of North Vietnam, B-52D tail number 55-0061 was being flown by a crew from the 22nd Bomb Wing, attached to the 307th Strat Wing at U-Tapao RTAFB, Thailand, and was targeted against the Bac Mai military storage area near Hanoi. Just short of the target, 55-0061 was attacked by a MiG and was separated from the other aircraft in its cell. While the MiG's missiles failed to hit the B-52, a surface-to-air SA-2 missile did hit in the central fuselage area. With both wings on fire and the pilot semiconscious, the copilot directed the crew to bail out. All six exited the aircraft: Capt Peter J. Giroux, Trumansburg, NY, pilot; Capt Thomas W. Bennett, Natchez, MS, copilot; Major Gerald W. Alley, Pocatello, ID; navigator; 1stLt Joseph B. Copack, Chicago, IL; radar navigator; Capt Peter P. Camerota, Gibbstown, NJ, EW officer; and MSgt Louis E. LeBlanc, Providence, RI, tail gunner. Captain Giroux amd MSgt LeBlanc were captured at once, while Captain Camerota successfully evaded for 12 days before surrendering to the North Vietnamese. These three came home three months later, but the returning POWs knew nothing of the other three. The remains of 1stLt Copack and Major Alley were repatriated on 15 Dec 1988, with positive identification announced on 27 June 1989. Captain Bennett was carried as Missing in Action until a Presumptive Finding of Death was approved on 09 Oct 1980; his remains have not been repatriated.

Above is the account written by the US Department of Defense. The above account is about a man that came into my life a little over 4 years ago. He came into my life in an unexpected way. A man that was very dear to me at the time hand selected a metal MIA bracelet out of box and slipped onto my wrist where it has since remained. Little did I know that night that it was put on my wrist just all that would transpire from it. That man that picked it out that night was using the MIA bracelets and soldiers that graced them as a visual reminder for a sermon he gave. He talked about the Ultimate Sacrifice. And as you can gather he used the correclation between soldiers and the sacrifce that Jesus has made for each one of us. He talked about an operative in Vietnam called the "Linebacker II" little did I know at the time that was the operative that "Buddy" went down in. There has always been something amazing about my bracelet. I hurried home that night to see if I could find anything on this man that was now in my life. I found the write up above from the DoD. The thing the DoD report doesn't share is that Dec 22, 1972 was actually Buddy's 30th birthday. It doesn't share that he went up as Scarlet one... It doesn't talk about that he was Marine first...then spent time at Seminary before joining the Air Force. It doesn't share that he always wanted to fly the biggest and the best plane. It doesn't talk about his deep blue eyes, his southern draw, how much of a gentleman he was. It doesn't talk about how tall he was. It doesn't tell the story of one of his crew telling a friend on the ground that he knew they weren't coming back. A goodbye another man will never forget. You see these are all things that I have learned over the last 4 years from people who knew Buddy. Whether it be a story about him as a boy, or a story about a man who took roses to a grieving mom every mothers day because a pilot always remembers his mom on mothers day and he thought he should do that on Buddy's behalf. There aren't words for me to even begin to express how Major Bennett has shaped my life in the last few years. Because of Buddy I have crossed paths with people I would not have met before. Because of Buddy I got a plane for the first time this year. Because of Buddy I am know longer afraid to pursue those things that fulfil my hearts desires. So kind sir I say THANK YOU! I thank your family who has spent the last 37 years having wonder. My prayers are that one day they will have the answers. I thank God for putting you into my life. If you don't think that God does silly little things, or has a sense of humor then put this on for size. You see the date of Dec 22 is significant in my life. A couple of months after the bracelet I realized I had forgotten the importance of that date. Actually it was Dec 22, 2002, when I was 30 years old (Buddys' 60th)...it was the day I walked to the alter and I gave my life to Christ and became born again. Buddy I am proud to share our birthday's together. I hope God may bless each and everyone of you this holiday season. As for me, I will be making a toast and saying a silent prayer for Maj Thomas Waring "Buddy" Bennett JR. God Speed my friend!

I Didn't Know You

I Didn't Know You

I didn't know you
Yet you thought
I was worth dying for

I didn't know you
They day you rose
Your right hand and
Took an oath to honor
Serve and protect me

I didn't know you
The day you went to boot camp
To learn what it means to be a soldier

I didn't know you
The day you became
all you could be
in order to keep me free

I didn't know you
The day you met your beautiful wife
or the day you baby boy was born

I didn't know you
That dreadful day
That you paid the highest price

I didn't know you
The day I held your sister
While she cried
because she had to say good bye

I didn't know you
The day that the bugle played
and the 21 shots rang my ears

I didn't know you
But yet somehow you
have touched my soul

I didn't know you


Rest In Peace SSG Chris Rudzinski....you will be missed by many....

PFC Roberge

There are a lot of people in my life that don't always understand why it is that I do the things I do when it comes to adopting soldiers. In the past couple of years I have taken some grief from different people whether it be a comment like "don't they have a family that can support them" to "my husband would be livid with me if I was having a conversation with another man"and everyhing in between...I am not saying this to call anyone out....because you know what each person has different feelings in their heart. For me Adopt a US Soldier has become my passion, my calling in life....I have never really been able to articulate what it was like to receive that first email, that first letter, or that first little momento. Even today after 2 1/2 years I still get that same excitment when I get a simple email from one of "my" soldiers. I wish I could explain to everyone out there just what is in my heart when it comes to this. I just can't find the words....however today a dear friend of mine (whom I also met through Adopt a Soldier)forwarded me an essay written by a young man. It is about his soldier and what that adoption has meant to him. You see his soldier was killed in action. His words are such an honor and a tribute to this wonderful young man that so bravely paid the Ultimate sacrifice. I am reminded at this moment about the ulitimate sacrifice that another gave. Jesus...I don't think you can truly have sacrifice without love. Isn't that the ultimate when it comes to Love? Sacrifice. I am so thankful for my family because they sacrifice a lot for me to be in this program. Whether it be dealing with me being on the computer, to going maybe without something extra so we can fill a box of goodies...so if you don't understand why I do this please know it is because of Love. I Love my country. I Love those individuals that protect and serve my country. Just like Jesus when he sat by the well with the woman living in sin. He didn't pass judgement on her. He simply loved her. I can think of know greater love....Please read the essay that Cory has written about how a soldier touched his life. And as for me no matter what anyone else is saying or whispering, I will continue to be a cheerleader just like Cory, that is until they let me into the fight!



"Jonathan Roberge died in Iraq this past year in a roadside bombing. He was 23 years old, and a private in the United States Army. We had never met. And yet, this brave warrior had a huge impact on me. You see, he was my pen pal. A few years ago, I signed up for a program called Adopt-A-US-Soldier. Jonathan was the second pen pal that I had. I’ve always had tremendous respect and admiration for our troops, and I’ve always wanted to help them out in any way I could. When you send soldiers a letter or an email or a package, they know that they are in your heart, and that their incredible job is not going unnoticed.

As a young adult living in the United States, I am troubled that some of my peers do not share my concerns about the forces that threaten the safety of our nation. Perhaps they think that the War on Terror is a thing of the past, or perhaps they think that other needs are more compelling than our national security. In my opinion, these beliefs are foolhardy, and the importance of a strong military is paramount. As one of the mourners at Jonathan’s funeral said, “Kids are exactly the ones who need to understand, they have the freedom they enjoy because of people like Jonathan and everyone else who serves.” I hope that Jonathan, as well as all of the men and women who have died in the service, will always be remembered; and I also hope that all soldiers will have a support team – they deserve it.

Jonathan’s life – and untimely death – reinforced everything that I thought I knew about courage, service and sacrifice. Moreover, he helped me to understand that the most valuable things in life are our relationships with friends and family. Ironically, Jonathan was killed just days before I visited Texas A&M. My parents were the ones who got the news, but they decided not to tell me until after I finished my tour of the school. I know now that they wanted me to have my college experience with an open mind and a clear heart. I have come to realize that parents shoulder these burdens because they put their children’s needs first, and they make difficult decisions out of love for their kids. As my mom was accompanying me on this important journey, Jonathan’s mom was burying her son. The Roberge family will not get a chance to celebrate Jonathan’s future education, career, marriage or grandchildren. But they will have treasured memories of a wonderful, fun-loving, kind-hearted man who wanted to follow his dream of serving our country.

When Jonathan died, I had a package on the kitchen table waiting to be sent to Jonathan and his unit. It was just some chips, candy and magazines – an assortment of items that most of us purchase any day of the week at the grocery store, but items that our troops cannot easily access in the desert of Iraq. After consulting with my advisor at Adopt-A-US-Soldier, I forwarded the package to Jonathan’s family with my note of condolence. The family, in turn, sent the package to the men in Jonathan’s unit who, undoubtedly, grieve Jonathan’s passing.

When I first found out that Jonathan had been killed, I was stunned. I know it sounds silly, but it had never really occurred to me that out of the small handful of soldiers that I know, one of them would be killed in action. Shortly after I returned home from my visit to A&M, I went online and found a lot of articles written about Jonathan. I discovered that in his hometown, his friends, family, and neighbors were setting up various charities in his honor. I contacted one of them, and they told me how proud they were of me. That confused me – what had I done? They told me that servicemen and women really do appreciate the citizens who reach out to them. I thought about that for a while, and I came to a conclusion. Everyone has a role to play – some of us will be fighters, and the rest of us will cheer on the fighters and help them out as best we can. Jonathan and I were a team, in a way. He was the fighter, and I was part of his cheering section.

Adopt-A-US-Soldier asked me to write a paragraph or two about what it felt like to lose a soldier. When I sat down to put my thoughts on paper, I saw that beyond the overwhelming sadness at losing “my” soldier, the way I felt was simply lucky – lucky to have known Jonathan for a short while, and lucky to have supported him in his service on my behalf. Jonathan’s mom went from being a Blue Star Mom to being a Gold Star Mom. I cannot possibly imagine the overwhelming emptiness in her life. This, too, has taught me something about love and loss. Jonathan’s family sent me a bookmark and dogtag that were created to honor Jonathan’s memory. These mementos of his life and tragic passing remind me daily of the lessons that I learned from my friendship with PFC Roberge.

Jonathan’s quote in his high school yearbook was, “I live my life a quarter mile at a time – for those ten seconds, I’m free.” I think that what he meant was that he lived in the moment, loving his friends and family, and ready to do whatever might be necessary to further an important cause. Jonathan Roberge is an American hero, and certainly a hero to me.

Come Back to Me

I am going to do something a little different with this blog...for those of you that know me very well, you know that music is a driving force in my life. Those people that are closest to me have more then once gotten an email or letter with song lyrics included! What can I say sometimes a song says what is in my heart way better then I ever could. I was watching some videos on youtube and I kept going back to one song. It is called Come Back to Me, by David Cook. I know isn't a "Christian" song or artist, but honestly the first time I heard the song, well it was God speaking directly to me in the song. While I was on my trip back in July I had a day pretty much to myself, so I spent it driving around Savannah GA, just seeing what there was to see. Often as I am driving my mind gets to racing. This was one of those moments. As a matter of fact I ended up finding myself in tears just thinking about all the things that were going on in my life and probably just some of knowing that I would be leaving that state the next day. Come Back to Me came on the radio, and it was as if God was speaking directly to me...so here I am sharing the lyrics of this song. Maybe it will touch someone else, maybe it won't. I know this song was written more about a lover leaving to find something that was missing....but really and truly when one thinks about it isn't that often what happens when we step out of God's path to try to find our own? Here you go.....

Come Back to Me
You say you gotta go and find yourself
You say that you're becoming someone else
Don't recognize the face in the mirror
Looking back at you

You say you're leavin
As you look away
I know theres really nothin left to say
Just know i'm here
Whenever you need me
I'll wait for you

So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

Take your time I wont go anywhere
Picture you with the wind in your hair
I'll keep your things right where you left them
I'll be here for you

Oh I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me

I can't get close if your not there
I can't get inside if theres no soul to bear
I can't fix you I can't save you
Its something you have to do

So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me
Come back to me
So I'll let you go
I'll set you free
And when you see what you need to see
When you find you come back to me

And I hope you find everything that you need
I'll be right here waiting to see
You find you come back to me

When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me
When you find you come back to me


**so maybe it is silly of me to put a song on here...but it touched me. It reminds me that no matter how far I get off track, no matter what I have done God will always love me. He will always be there waiting for me to come back to Him. I am reminded as I am writing this of one of my favorite scriptures...Romans 8:35-38 (35)Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? (36)As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." (37)No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. (38)For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, (39)neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

What an amazing thought that is NOTHING can seperate us from His love! He is waiting for you to come back to Him!

Insignificant

It seems like I have had this blog in my head for a long time. Seems like I have never been able to put all of my thoughts together at one given time to be able to complete it. Not that anyone ever really reads these things, but sometimes getting ideas out on paper well it helps me to process what is happening in the moments of my life. Several months ago I was asked to write a history paper. I opted to do a quick report on Eleanor Roosevelt, simply because I didn't want to take the time to go to a different library, and my little hometown library had enough books on her that I thought I could pull it off fairly easily. Little did I know that there was a reason I would be writing that report. I never really knew much about Eleanor Roosevelt other than she was the First lady to Franklin D. Roosevelt and that she was an outstanding humanitarian. I didn't realize the reason why she had become such a humanatarian. You see Eleanor always felt very insignificant. From the time she was born throughout most of her life the people around her made her feel like she was never good enough, never pretty enough, to amount to anything. Whether it be her mother's comments about her being unattractive, to her fathers alcholoism, to her husbands indescretions with other women. Eleanor made up her mind that even though she felt ugly and insignificant that she was going to do everything in her power to make sure that others around her would never ever feel that way. Whether it be serving food in a soup kitchen for the thousands in the bread lines during the depression...or taking care packages and hand delivering them to the troops in a war zone...all things that most "First Ladies" don't do. As I wrote the report on Eleanor I recalled a passage in a book I had read by Rob Bell called Sex God. There is a section in the book where Mr. Bell talks about people feeling unhuman or insignificant. There was a section of a diary from a British Soldier whose unit had liberated a concentration camp during WWII, he had written a letter about what he had seen while there. He talked about how the prisonors of the concentration camp were made to feel unhuman. That they had been stripped of everything, not just their clothes but their name, there whole existence had been taken away from them. It was through an act of humanity or what was supposed to be an act of humanity that supplies had arrived at the concentration camp. However as so often it happens, there was a mix up. While food and bedding were supposed to be received, in the packages they found lip stick. Lip stick. This soldier was amazed at what this lip stick did though, as a matter of fact he called it sheer genius. He remembered women that were beaten and bedraggled, thin wearing the lip stick. He remembers seeing woman that passed away without an identity laying on the table clutching lip stick...for in that moment when they put that lip stick back on they felt human again. They felt like they had an identity again. Isn't it funny how one little thing like a tube of lip stick can make someone feel better? I can't fathom that to be honest, but as I go through life I come back to that story so often. When I think about Eleanor I can relate to her in a lot of ways. Not that I am going to complain. But a part of me understands what it is like to feel like a fish swimming up stream, to have no one actually believe in you. I am happier in my life today because I have found a few people who do believe in me. Who do push me to be a better person. Who push me to pursue that which is my heart. They make me feel significant when for so long I felt so insignificant. I think insignificance is brought on by indifference. If you know me at all you have heard me talk about indifference a lot. I guess it is one of those things that gets under my skin. Now I am not going to say that I am not guilty of the sin of indifference from time to time. Because we all are. But I really hope if you read this, that you think about indifference. It comes in all kinds of forms, whether it be silence when someone shares a joyous event or something that is bothering them....Or maybe it is a face you make, or a roll of your eyes....maybe it is you hurrying and not really listening....it comes in a lot of forms. I personally have tried in my life to make sure I am not being indifferent. Because you know what if someone is sharing something with you it is because that thing means something to that individual. Your response or lack of directly effects whether that individual feels significant or INsignificant. Personally I don't want to make anyone feel like I have or how Eleanor felt. God tells us in His book that we are all created in His image...Think about that. Each one of us is a little piece of what God is like. The person sitting next to you, or across the street from you, they are created in the image of God. His intent is for NO one to ever feel like they don't matter. We all matter to Him. He has equipped us, and charged us with making sure that we make those around us feel like they matter as well. He wants all of us to feel significant. I love the line that ends the chapter in the Rod Bell book that has touched my life...in hopes that it will mean something to you if you have taken the time to read this...."Sometimes the difference between Heaven and Hell is a little lipstick"

What is Church

So this blog may get long...So this blog may seem like a completely different topic then I normally write about...not that anyone really reads this anyway....but still there is just something about writing. Not that I am a good writer by any means...let me stop that and get onto to the topic. I have spent a lot of time over the last year and a half thinking about the question that is the title of this blog. What is church? I think most people would have just about the same answer if you were to ask that question. But honestly in the last year and half I have asked myself that question time and time again searching for an answer that I am happy to say I recently found within myself. Maybe some of you that actual read this are aware of the fact that around a year and half ago I walked away from what I thought church was. You see I thought what I was doing and where I was going was "church" at least it seemed that way for the five years that I attended just about every single service, and served faithfully in. I have to honestly say though, I have come to feel very differently about it today. Sure I miss the worshipping God together and listening to the teaching. But as I walked away from that place in my life. The place that had been my sanctuary. I learned something completely different. I am not going to deny that I left what I thought was "church" over being hurt. Because hurt I was. Hurt even more when I walked out of a place where I had spent most of my time and no one seemed to notice. Talk about feeling insignificant. Which is a completely different blog soon to come. I had been pondering the above question for a long time. Reading the word I believe Jesus gives us a completely different picture of what he wants the church to be. You see to me when Jesus talks about His church, he talks about the fellowship more then anything. Going from house to house, sharing food, and possesions. Not showing up one day a week to get your fix. I was blessed a little over a week ago when my niece asked me if I would take her to a concert. I was more then delighted to do so. We went to see Jeremy Camp, Mercy Me, John Rubin, Sanctus Reel, and Tenth Ave North. I have to be honest I hadn't even really been listening to much "christian" music as of late. But she wanted to go and I was more then willing to take her. It was at that concert that Bart the lead singer of Mercy Me was able to articulate exactly what I had been feeling in my heart for so long but couldn't put into words. He talked about how we as the body have become so focused on getting people to the alter that we forget about teaching them how to live after they get there. That was his reasoning behind not having an alter call that night at the concert. He said that it is his hope that he could be there with people for the journey. That ten years from nowhe hoped they remember this show because it brought them closer to God and not just to an alter. He then talked about the church and what it was for him. He made mention that the church isn't the place we go on Sunday. But rather the church is those people that surround us, that lift us up when we have fallen, that stand besides us in the good the bad and the ugly. That is what the body of Christ does. The body of Christ doesn't allow someone who is hurting to meerly walk away. Those words really hit me like a ton of bricks. I had felt guilty for the last year and half for not "attending church." God set me free from that last Sunday night because it became really clear to me WHO my church is. It is my best friend Linda who is always there, night or day, loving me regardless of the stupid junk I do, calling me out in her loving way when I do those stupid things. But mostly she reminds me of God's love. I see Jesus when I look at her. She has walked so close to him. I have seen her Love just like He did, I have also watched her go through the same rejection He went through while he was hanging on the cross. I certainly have learned from her that if I really want to ask God to make me like Jesus I best be prepared for exactly what He went through. Steve, he has been my church. He quietly stands by me. He makes me want to be a better woman, wife and mom. My daughter Anna who I delight in and see God's humor in, because so often when something comes out of her mouth I know God is sitting on His throne laughing, and giving me that little wink. My friend Christopher who I can tell anything to, who has reminded me that I am a strong woman who can do absolutely anything I set my mind to. And reminds me that my dreams aren't too big. My friend Tina, who started the whole concept of convincing me to believe in myself. My niece Hillary. She is full of light and grace. Her presence fills a room. And I am gratful for the kindred spirit I have found in her. These are a few of the people that become what is church for me. They are there for me in ways that I just never imagined. And I am forever grateful to God that He saw fit to bring each one of them into my life.